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Indicting ham sandwiches

“The prosecutor can get the grand jury to indict a ham sandwich.”

Are grand juries really so eager to indict ham sandwiches? Any prosecutor worth his/her salt knows grand juries can be prickly, and are seldom impressionable enough to coerce into returning a true bill of indictment for deli meat or particularly weak cases.

Still, it seems like some pundit, reporter, or TV character is always making the “ham sandwich” declaration. If I had a quarter for every time I heard it, I’d be rich—or at the very least, have enough money to buy a few dozen ham sandwiches.

We can blame Sol Wachtler for introducing the phrase into the popular lexicon. Back in 1985, Wachtler was the newly appointed Chief Judge of the New York Court of Appeals when he told a reporter that prosecutors had such influence over grand juries they could convince them to “indict a ham sandwich.”
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More on page 405

The Conclusion of a 26-Year-Old Murder Story . . . in 140 Characters or Less

Ronnie Lee Gardner

It was the first time in 14 years that a person in Utah was executed by firing squad, but it might have been the first time ever that a state attorney general “tweeted” the world about giving the order.

“I just gave the go ahead to Corrections Director to proceed with Gardner’s execution,” read a Twitter feed fired off by Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff. “May God grant him the mercy he denied his victims.”

Kind of a weird thing to do, in our opinion. Perhaps even gross; there’s something about every tweet that’s self-promotional and, well, silly. Wouldn’t a communiqué to the living victims—family, friends, loved ones of Gardner’s victims—suffice? An occasion like this calls for at least a little restraint.

But in case his fans might forget, Shurtleff later advertised the fact that he was going to be one TV and everything. “We will be streaming live my press conference as soon as I’m told Gardner is dead. Watch it at [attorney general office’s website],” he tweeted.

Don’t get us wrong. If a state is going to execute people, Ronnie Lee Gardner was a prime candidate. Whether you support or oppose the death penalty, the fact that Gardner won’t ever commit a crime again is good for all of us.

But some decorum on the part of Shurtleff would have been nice. We expect people representing the law-enforcement system to try to be above it all. What’s next? Tweeting in the actual execution order? Obviously.



Utah banned death by firing squad in 2004, but the law was not retroactive, allowing Gardner, who committed his crimes 26 years ago, to choose this particular method of execution. Here are some other unusual methods still on the books.

More on page 1307

Sun, Sand, and SVU


Turns out True Stories of Law & Order: SVU is the book our favorite radio hosts will be reading this summer. We’re fans of the Jim & Kim Morning Show on Fresh 102.7 FM and are honored to have made Kim’s Book on the Beach list. You can listen to the segment here.



More on page 1275

Gersbeck Gets 8; Battisti Goes Free

New York city police officer Anthony Battisti was acquitted yesterday of orchestrating the 2009 attempted murder of his ex-wife, Patricia Battisti. Prosecutors contend that Battisti offered Timothy Gersbeck $5,000 to get rid of his former wife because he was tired of paying child support and wanted sole custody of their children.

Gersbeck, an acquaintance who did odd jobs for the officer, admitted attacking Patricia Battisti with a screwdriver outside her Franklin Square home last January. The victim’s son and boyfriend came to her aid before he could complete the act. Gersbeck pleaded guilty and agreed to testify in exchange for a lighter sentence. He told the court that Battisti “hired” him and suggested using either a shotgun or a screwdriver to commit the crime.
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More on page 1250

Miranda? Not Necessarily.

Crime & Justice, Law (In No Particular Order) Comments (0)

On a recent episode of “Cops,” a bare-chested, shoe-less fool complained that the officers hadn’t read him his Miranda rights. The officers were asking him about a fight that had just taken place. The shoe-less wonder wasn’t a suspect, so Miranda wasn’t necessary.

The common right of inquiry allows law enforcement agents to question civilians—Miranda warnings are not required. Answers provided during such inquiries are legal and valid at trial. Miranda only applies to suspects in custody. If you are skulking about the neighborhood, an officer has the right to stop and question you.

Custody is defined as the legal physical control of a person or object. Police custody occurs when a person is detained by law enforcement and not permitted to leave on his/her own accord. Once a person is taken into custody, police officers must be careful to read the Miranda warnings before beginning any interrogation.

The shoe-less wonder eventually got his wish. After throwing a fit and lunging at the officers, he was arrested….and Mirandized.

Fio @ August 18, 2010

Law & Order Gone for Good

TV Time, The Real McCoy Comments (0)

Not the real McCoy


Despite rumors to the contrary, Law & Order is gone, daddy, gone. New York magazine broke the disappointing, but not unexpected news: there will be no revival of the original show. According to exec producer Dick Wolf, the beloved drama has “moved into the history books.” Meanwhile, Rene Balcer, exec producer of the soon-to-debut Law & Order: Los Angeles, thinks the new locale will add new life to the show. Maybe, maybe. L&O: L.A. looks promising. Yet, for us, there can be only one real McCoy.

Law & Order: Los Angeles premiers September 29th on NBC.

Administrator @ August 5, 2010

Law & Order Art Show in Los Angeles

Crime & Justice Comments (1)

Death of a Bully by Box Brown


For twenty years, the heroes of Law & Order have navigated literally hundreds grotesque tragedies, moral quandries, and improbable crimes. They’ve also been the inspiration behind such artistic works as “Death of a Bully,” “A Suspicious Nasal Spray!” and An Egocentric Poet’s Journal.” The three are just a few of the eclectic and entertaining pieces included in “These Are Their Stories,” the Law & Order-themed exhibit currently on display at the Gallery Meltdown.

Each piece is an artist’s interpretation of a one-line episode summary from the DirecTV program guide. Like the series that inspired them, they are sometimes straightforward and sometimes offer a twist; sometimes they contain no easy answers, and sometimes they are just plain goofy.

Featuring works from more than 40 artists, “These are Their Stories” runs July 24 to July 30, at Gallery Meltdown, 7522 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90046.

Cake, ice cream, and snacks will be served all day opening day, as well as at a special reception the night of the 28th.

For more information check out artist Brandon Bird’s website.

Administrator @ July 25, 2010

The “Barefoot Bandit” is No Folk Hero

Crime & Justice Comments (0)

Go put some shoes on.


America has a long history of making heroes out of lunatics. Our country’s most famous outlaw folk hero, Jesse James, was simply an angry, homicidal ex-Confederate who murdered and robbed because he was most likely a psychopath. But at least people have the perception that he “robbed from the rich and gave to the poor,” ill-informed as they may be.

What has Colton Harris-Moore done besides rob, period? His fans say he wouldn’t hurt anyone. So that’s all it takes to become a modern American folk hero? To follow your criminal instincts, turn your victims’ lives upside down, and have the police talk you out of blowing your head off? The kid’s got serious problems and committed a bunch of crimes. That’s it.

Folk heroes are supposed to stand for something. It’s a sad day when we make a hero out of a pouty-faced child who just can’t control himself.

Dwyer @ July 14, 2010